


Replacing Who I Am (With Who I'd Rather Be)

by pommedhappy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bellamy is kind of a jerk, M/M, Murphy is kind of pining, No one sees them, Semi-Public Sex, Set during the war against A.L.I.E, Smut, Tree Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 05:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommedhappy/pseuds/pommedhappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy kisses him gently without any heat and Murphy forgets why he was upset with him in the first place. His mind is blank and he just wants this moment to not end. One of Bellamy’s hands is on his cheek and the other on his hip, keeping Murphy close to him, and really he would like to be able to tell Bellamy that he’s done, that he can’t go on like this, being the dirty little secret, but as soon as Bellamy is touching him the words just won’t come out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Replacing Who I Am (With Who I'd Rather Be)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!
> 
> So this is my second story starring Bellamy and Murphy. Feel free to leave me a comment, or a review, or a message if you want to discuss about it.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it
> 
> xxx
> 
> (PS: The title is from "Over and Out" by 5 Seconds of Summer)

Murphy rolls his eyes when two strong arms wrap themselves around his shoulders but he lets himself be back up against the hard chest anyway. 

“Stop that, Bellamy. Someone might see us and wouldn’t that be so bad…” 

Bellamy’s lips find his neck and start nipping the tender skin while his arms drop to Murphy’s waist. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to say that.”

Murphy snorts. “Right, because there are several possible interpretations of “I only come closer to Murphy when I need to”. It’s just me being silly.”

Bellamy turns him around at that and makes Murphy face him. His big dark eyes looks into his and Murphy can feel his anger deflates. Bellamy looks at him like he’s worth something, like what they’re doing means something to him too, and Murphy knows that deep down that might be true. But he just… He just wishes that could also be true when they aren’t alone, because as soon as someone else enters the room they are in Bellamy steps away and acts as if Murphy doesn’t exist. 

He’s brought back to reality when he feels lips against his own. Bellamy kisses him gently without any heat and Murphy forgets why he was upset with him in the first place. His mind is blank and he just wants this moment to not end. One of Bellamy’s hands is on his cheek and the other on his hip, keeping Murphy close to him, and really he would like to be able to tell Bellamy that he’s done, that he can’t go on like this, being the dirty little secret, but as soon as Bellamy is touching him the words just won’t come out. 

As always, Murphy gives in and let Bellamy push him backward till he’s pinned against a large tree. He lets out a small groan when his back hits forcefully the wood and Bellamy seizes the opportunity to lick into his mouth, Murphy moaning when their tongues met. 

They kiss until their lungs hurt and they’re panting into each other mouths. Bellamy brings their foreheads together and looks at him with this gentle expression again. “I really am sorry. But everyone needs to be focused on our mission and not on us. And you know it will be a lot to take in for them, especially Raven. We will tell them when the war is over.” His hand fondles Murphy’s cheek softly and a smile emerges on his face. “In the meantime, I kind of like to have you all for myself.”

His lips find Murphy’s again but with more meaning this time, his tongue thrusting into Murphy’s mouth and making him dizzy. 

Murphy knows the promise to tell everyone once the war is over is easy because after several weeks of surrounding the artificial intelligence’s house and fighting drones with limited bullets and swords, the big army of grounders and sky people, rebuilt for the occasion, starts to doubt its victory. And there will no longer be any secret to tell if one of them doesn’t make it to the end. But, instead of calling Bellamy on his lies, he kisses back desperately, clutching Bellamy’s jacket. 

He lifts one leg to wrap it around Bellamy’s hips so they can be even closer and Bellamy starts almost immediately to grind against him. Murphy moans at that, feeling the overwhelming heat rising in him. He throws his head back, fighting to breathe, and Bellamy attacks his neck, sucking and biting softly, while one of his large hands goes to Murphy’s ass and squeezes hard.

“Bellamy. Bellamy, we can’t. I’m supposed to watch the fire.” The hand on his ass continues to squeeze. “Don’t worry, it will be fine. And I really missed you tonight.”

Murphy knows that he mostly missed the quick hook-up they have every night but the words still make his heart flutters. If someone has told him a while ago that he will be pining after Bellamy, Murphy wouldn’t have believe them but here he is, hoping he could be more to Bellamy than just a source of sex. But then Bellamy is undoing his pants and pulling them down Murphy’s legs, groaning when he can’t take them off because of Murphy’s boots and Murphy forgets how to think. The older man kneels suddenly in front of him, removing the boots and the pants, but when Murphy expects him to stand up he stays on his knees. One of his hands curls around Murphy’s hip and the other strokes lightly his inner tight. Murphy feels goose bumps rise on his skin and his body shakes slightly at the barely touch, but he prefers to believe it’s because of coldness. 

“Fuck!” Bellamy is now mouthing him through his boxers, letting a wet patch on the fabric, and Murphy can’t stop the moans that escape his lips. Bellamy is on him in one second, muffling the sound he’s making by his lips. 

“Shh… We have to be quiet, baby. Don’t wake up the others.” He carries on with his kiss, effectively shutting Murphy up. His hands slip under the waistband of Murphy’s boxers and he pushes the piece of clothing down. Murphy feels a bit ridiculous being naked from the waist down in the middle of the forest, where anyone could see him if they wake up, but Bellamy’s hands find his ass again, two fingers coated with spit sliding between his cheeks and prodding at his hole. He lets out a cry of surprise into Bellamy mouth, biting accidentally his tongue and making the older man groans in pain but he doesn’t stop kissing him.

One fingertip enters him and starts to thrust back and forth right away. Murphy hisses at the slight burn but he’s used to it by now and the uncomfortable sensation only last a few seconds. Soon, the two fingers are opening him up, preparing him, but avoiding his sweet spot and Murphy is shivering with need. He tugs on Bellamy’s arm until the fingers are pulled out from him and then takes off Bellamy’s jacket and t-shirt. The older man lets him do it but arches an eyebrow in confusion while Murphy smiles when Bellamy’s body heat engulfs him. “I’m cold, and I’m ready. So how do you want me?”

It’s Bellamy turn to smile. “Just hold on.” Before Murphy has the time to ask why, his second leg is lifted and he has to wrap his arms around Bellamy’s shoulders tightly in order to not fall over. He’s straddling Bellamy’s waist, his back against the hard tree, and he feels completely vulnerable in this position but it also feels so fucking good. Bellamy lets go of his legs to start undoing his own pants and Murphy tightens the wrap of his legs on the older man’s thighs. He watches his lover coating his cock before he is hitched higher against the wood by Bellamy’s grasp on his ass. He moans at the burning fullness overwhelming him when Bellamy sinks him down gently into his dick. A large hand finds its way to his mouth to keep the sound from being too loud. Bellamy is everywhere, around him and filling him so well, and Murphy feels like it’s all too much. He should be frizzing but his skin is burning up and his hot pants against Bellamy’s hands only add to this sensation. 

It’s the first time they’re doing it that way and Murphy never felt so full. Bellamy buries himself to the hilt inside him and waits a few seconds for Murphy to nod before moving back and forth, thrusting slowly and gradually increasing his speed. And Murphy…Murphy loses it.

Each thrust hits his prostate and he can only throw his head back as he takes it, moaning loudly, the sounds barely covered by Bellamy’s hand on his mouth. He’s chanting Bellamy’s name, he knows it, and he really hopes that the other man can’t understand his muffled cries, but it’s all too good and he can’t stop himself. The hard wood is rubbing against his back and he will certainly have bruise from it later but he doesn’t really care at the time. 

He’s coming close in no time, and it’s a little embarrassing but he feels so awesome it doesn’t matter in that moment. He tries to warn Bellamy and the older man must understand because one of his hands engulfs the tip of Murphy’s bouncing cock so he won’t make a mess. And that, added to Bellamy still fucking him like a sex god, send him over the edge, releasing himself into Bellamy’s fist. 

Murphy’s whole body is shivering and his mind blanks out for a moment but Bellamy keeps thrusting into him and he feels oversensitive. He only clenches his ass a few times before Bellamy is coming too, muffling his groans into Murphy’s neck. They both stay in that position for a moment, savoring the last waves of pleasure. Then Bellamy lifts his head and kisses him sloppily and it feels a lot like a ‘thank you’. 

Bellamy lets Murphy’s legs slide off him but when the younger boy tries to stand by himself he finds his legs shaky and they just won’t carry him. Bellamy holds him through it and bends to grasp his t-shirt from the ground. He cleans up his hand before trailing the fabric gently between Murphy’s legs, removing most of the come that is sliding down his thighs. He then rolls the piece of clothing and wedges it in his pants’ waistband. When Murphy is able to stand on his own, he lets go of Bellamy’s shoulders and starts to get dress, watching the older man do the same and putting back his jacket over his shirtless chest. 

“When does your shift ends?” Murphy is currently lacing up his boots again and looks up to Bellamy, shrugging. “In an hour or so, but the guards seem to enjoy sleeping a little bit more when it’s me they’re relieving.”

“You’re gonna be alright?” Bellamy is looking at him with this expression again, the one that puts Murphy in a flutter, every time.

“Yeah, yeah. As always.” Bellamy nods and kisses him one last time, his lips taking their time tasting Murphy’s. 

“Okay, see you tomorrow.” He smiles at him and then leaves, without looking back. 

Without Bellamy’s body against his, Murphy remembers how much the cold can seep in under his skin. The burning fire he’s supposed to be watching doesn’t really help him to get warmer, because one again Bellamy is gone and he’s alone.

Later that night, when someone relieved him from his watch and he is curled up in his jacket under his tiny tent, trying to sleep despite the cold, Murphy lets his mind wander to what happened earlier that day. Bellamy and he were enjoying a brief moment alone in the armory’s tent when Raven entered and Bellamy pushed him back so quickly he nearly felt. But what hurt was the way Bellamy laughed when raven asked if he liked spending time with Murphy now. He knows he isn’t the most favorite person around the camp and honestly it doesn’t affect him that much because he dislikes most of them too, but it would like for his lover to not be ashamed of him however. It stings, and he hates that. Things were easier when he didn’t care for Bellamy either. But he is honest enough with himself to know that he never really had been indifferent to the older man, that’s why he always sought his approval and why his lack of trust when needed left Murphy so wounded. 

But it was easy to hate Bellamy back then, when he was cold and looked at him with contempt. When now he just can’t, because he knows the feeling of being at the receiving end of Bellamy’s smile and kindness and because sometimes…Sometimes it feels like love, even if Murphy’s not sure to know what love feels like. He almost whishes Bellamy didn’t saved him three weeks ago, when he threw himself onto Murphy to prevent him to be hit by a drone’s bullets, because that thing between them started in the aftermath of this event.

Murphy sighs and tries to push away these thoughts, so he can actually sleep and be alert tomorrow. He’s still shivering from the coldness that sticks to his bones when his tent opens and a large fur blanket is suddenly covering him.

“W-What?” He looks up quickly and sighs in relief when he sees Bellamy, his heart still beating erratically because of the surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Bellamy enters and closes the tent’s zip. He then crawls towards Murphy, slips under the blanket and lays on his side, facing him. “Everyone was cuddling in my tent, out of fear for tomorrow’s battle. Monty and Miller always do so it’s not really surprising, but even Raven was there to be with Wick. And I realized I wanted to be with you.” He smiles and carries on before Murphy can open his mouth. “Besides, I thought you could be cold. No one wants to leave their tent at night nowadays but you always volunteer to watch the fire. Why didn’t you say something? I would have brought you a blanket sooner.” He raises a hand to Murphy’s hair and starts playing with the long strands, still looking at him and obviously waiting for an answer.

Murphy shrugs and looks down, focusing on Bellamy’s jaw rather than his eyes. He wraps his arms around the older man anyway, enjoying the moment while it lasts. “I didn’t think it was important.” 

Bellamy’s lips find his briefly. “Of course it was important. You’re important to me.” 

Murphy’s heart misses a beating at those words and hope mixed with doubts overwhelm him. But Bellamy doesn’t see the emotions on his face because he is burying his face into Murphy’s neck, bringing them close together and snuggling comfortably. “Sleep now. Everything will be alright.” 

And, for once, Murphy thinks that maybe it can be true.


End file.
